Today, I looked at myself in the mirror and, like many days, I was grossed out by my reflection. I saw the things that need fixing. I’m starting to realize that my crappy opinion about how I look is solely mine, and it’s unfounded. I know others do not share my opinion. I know that when others look at me they see a young woman, some may even see a pretty young woman. So what gives? Why do I think I’m not pretty enough?

I searched for an answer, and here’s what I got:

We’ve been raised in a environment where people put emphasis on physical appearance. Our culture values pretty people (men and women alike). We see relentless ads, commercials, and campaigns that tell us that yes! there’s always something to fix! – “fix.” Like we’re not beautiful the way we are.

The perpetually vain peoples of ‘merica, the people who make $$ off of your insecurities and mine, are the only ones who will tell you that you need fixing. Funny thing is, if they can’t find something to fix, they’ll make something up! It started with “got acne? We can fix that!” and evolved into “are your eyelashes too thin? Use this to grow them!”

Fucking eyelashes? Seriously?!

Million bucks says that when most people look in the mirror, the first thing they think is that they need new eyelashes. NOT. But I bet after that commercial was aired, some people started thinkin’ about it.. and voila! A new insecurity was bred.

Let me tell you now.. No, your eyelashes are not too damn short or thin.

No, your acne is not the first thing people see.

No, your pale skin is not ugly, it’s gorgeous.

No, your teeth are not hideous, especially when you smile.

No, your hair is not stupid and it doesn’t need ten shades of red or blonde to look great.

No, long fake nails really aren’t that much better than real ones.

No, you are not too fat.

Your skin is beautiful because you wear it.

Your eyes are gorgeous because they’re a million different hues when someone gets close enough to look.

Your hair is what keeps your head warm, and it’s something fun to style, if you so choose.

Your hands are wonderful because they’re your contact with the world around you.

Your smile is the best ammunition you’ve got when you want to express happiness or to brighten someone’s day. Use it. Often.

Your acne (if you’ve got it) does not detract from how beautiful the rest of your features are, the features people always notice first.

Your weight is not a thing of beauty, it is a thing of health. I’ve seen plenty of gorgeous women who are thick, and I’ve been completely envious. If it bothers you to be overweight, don’t change because others tell you it’s more attractive, change because you want to be healthy.

You are beautiful.

Don’t ever let anyone tell you different.


About brainreader

I'm a full time student and part time worker who has learned that writing is a means of keeping sanity in today's rat race. I'm here to share my two cents (or fifty) and see who bites back :) I'm sure you'll discover other interesting tidbits about me through reading my blog. View all posts by brainreader

7 responses to “you.are.beautiful

  • Deedle D

    Awesome once again and very true…I guess the only trap I occasionally fall into (used to be a lot more when I was younger) is the acne thing…I just never could feel comfortable around people with a big pimple smack dab on the middle of my face. That’s something I struggled with and thank goodness they come few and far between these days. The world today has been driven into hyper-self consciousness because of the culture we are surrounded by…think about it like this, what if there were no mirrors, no cameras, nothing…no way to see what you look like. You would just live life like everything is hunky dory and be happy with who you are; it’s kind of sad when you think about how things are these days and how people beautiful on the inside tend to get lost in the shuffle.

  • nevershagagreek

    I loved this post! Well done 🙂 Also, I totally agree. Some of these products are ridiculous!!!
    “Is your hair too flat?? Stick this piece of plastic to the top of your head and drape your hair over it!” Really? Are you serious with that??
    “Is your butt too flat?? Wear these massively padded underwear!!” Ha! I’ll pass, thanks.

    Still, there are days when I look in the mirror and see Audrey Hepburn, and days when I look in the mirror and see Roseann Barr.

  • Lisa

    Awesome essay. All too true. I worked in department stores selling makeup to women for years. All the propaganda they sold us…which in turn we were supposed to sell to the customers. Women would come in and just tear themselves down with criticism and we, the salespeople, were supposed to capitalize on that. Eventually I could not do it anymore.

    If someone’s entire visage were to disintegrate due to water and soap and nudity, then is that person really real? I myself love to wear makeup; it makes me feel more confident, although I wish I had prettier skin and I would stop wearing it. But if a person’s identity is created entirely so that he or she will feel more approval from strangers, that is a sad thing. If he or she gets made up for him or herself, that’s personal expression. I believe the two are entirely separate.

    Again, thank you for this essay. I am an online associate of your mother who directed this link to me.


    • brainreader

      I can’t imagine trying to sell women on beauty, I don’t think I could do it, either. It makes me sad that so many women today have self-esteem issues, myself included. I want to spread the word and make women feel beautiful. IDK, I guess it’s kind of a personal mission, since it’s a passion so close to my heart.

      I like wearing makeup too, but I try to keep it limited and very natural when I do wear it, because I don’t want to give a false representation of what I look like underneath it all. I agree that wearing makeup to cover oneself and wearing makeup to express oneself are two completely different things 🙂

      I do have a suggestion for your skin! My mom and I recently came across a product that has already made vast improvement on my skin (two uses). It’s a facial mud mask, sold by a company called Estuary ( I’m not finding the masks online anymore, they may have stopped production, but I’m betting I can find something similar. Anyways, they sell different masks for different skin types, I myself have some acne that is ceaseless. The thing that makes this stuff work so well is that it’s completely preservative free and it’s made only from natural ingredients, so it doesn’t do funky stuff to your skin (it’s cheap, too). It’s sold in powdered form, and you mix it with some water. I’m looking for something similar because this stuff is working some freakin’ miracles. Finally.

      Keep in touch, Lisa. It was nice to hear from you 🙂

  • mooselicker

    We’re all so much harder on ourselves when it comes to looks. Well, most of us. I guess when you’re around yourself constantly you’ll notice every little thing wrong.

    The Internet has helped this thought and we all know by browsing or accidentally opening the wrong e-mails that there are people with the same “problems” as us, many of them much worse.

  • brainreader

    Thank you 😀
    I appreciate the support

  • Scott

    2 Keb Mo songs: “I’m Amazing” & (You don’t have to) “Shave Yo Legs”

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